Showing posts with label PPV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PPV. Show all posts

Sigh-tings; PPV Titles

Sigh-tings
- A man in the elevator removing his shoes one at a time and taking the soles out. shaking the dirt/gravel(??) out of them and putting them back on.  For this, I squealed I was trying so hard to hold off laughing in his old face.  Only in the Bronx.

- A 14-year-old (or thereabouts) at the baseball field decked out in the wristbands, an arm sleeve on one arm, nice new cleats, a decent glove and a white baseball.  He looked like a ballplayer but the problem arose when I saw him tossing a ball up to himself - only about 6 or 7 feet in the air - and he proceeded to drop every one.  Hey, at least he looked good sucking at baseball - and coordination.

- A Jewish street fair with a DJ decked out in a yarmulke pumping Jewish beats for all the revelers to hear.  All the women had jean skirts on and/or khaki.  There were a bunch of blow-up bouncy houses that all the kids loved.  Nathan, he didn't enjoy himself - I think the music was too loud and the generators keeping the bouncy houses up scared him.

PPV Titles
Alas, here it is again - the PPV porn movie title section of WRT.  This is a favorite of mine.  This time, I'll put the title and the description given.

"Big Tight Ebony Butts" - Black chicks have deep throats, big racks, and gorgeous behinds.  I'm guessing these behinds are a little too much for one man to handle.

"Hot Bitch Blackout" - Latinas, white chicks, and a horny MILF want big black meat.  A virtual abundance of races looking forward to meat that, if indeed black, is spoiled.

"Full Streams Ahead 2" - POV sex scenes.  I think this one's about a steamboat named "Man Meat" in a special boat lane for ships carrying more than 5 people.

What Weather?; PPV

What Weather?
Where is this eighty degree weather everyone was saying is headed our way?  The clouds have not dissipated, and the sun has yet to come out - and it's almost noon.  And then we got rain coming tonight?  This might be the worst winter-into-spring I've ever experienced.  The weatherman are clearly liars with no soul.

I changed the basketball rim, still need to put a net on it, but one thing at a time.

Heading to the field to tarp it - no, not the whole thing.  If we had a full-field tarp, the thing would get ruined bu the dirtbags that run around the Bronx.  Guaranteed.  We've got a mound tarp and a plate tarp that have chains sewn in to the edges to add weight so the wind doesn't blow it onto the Major Deegan Expressway.

PPV 
Mom's Baking Brownies - I don't think this one is on the Food Network.
Hot Wet N Stranded - I wonder where they are stuck?  Gilligan's Island perhaps?
Bounce My Jugs 2 - Like basketballs?  The playoffs are coming though.
Strap On Club - A truly exclusive club.  First rule of Strap On Club is don't talk about Strap On Club.
AZN All-Star - Sound it out.  It's not about white or black women.

Weather; PPV; Russell Brand

Weather
With all the rain we've had lately, I am looking forward to a nice reprieve from the wet stuff.  Today has been nothing but sunny thus far, but I just took a look on the "Hourly Graph" on weather.com and it says rain from 3:00 to 4:00 this afternoon - but only a 30% chance. 

I like those odds, but in reality, most everything is 50/50 - it'll either happen or it won't.  That's 50/50.  Right now, there's a 50% chance of rain.  There's also a 50% chance of no rain.

Think about it.

The five day forecast for the lovely Bronx goes something like this:
Today - High of 53 degrees, mostly cloudy, 20% chance of rain
Saturday - High of 60 degrees, mostly sunny, 20% chance of rain
Sunday - High of 58 degrees, few showers, 30% chance of rain
Monday - High of 66 degrees, cloudy, 20% chance of rain
Tuesday - High of 63 degrees, isolated t'storms, 30% chance of rain

PPV
As a treat to everyone who reads, here's the list of incredible titles for today's movie selection on Channel 95.
Big Black Jack 5 - I think this one's about the relative of the Jolly Green Giant.  I think.
Chica Maneaters - I know this isn't a spinoff of Manhunters that was on A&E last night.
3:10 to Poon Town - I know Russell Crowe and Christian Bale were in the remake, but who's starring in this newest remake?
Big Bangjob Theory - I've got a funny feeling this isn't a bunch of geeky scientists who are very funny.

Russell Brand
This guy has got his life together.  He's married to Katy Perry.   He's hilariously funny - he was co-hosting "Regis & Kelly" this morning and I couldn't stop laughing.  Oh yeah, and he's married to Katy Perry.  Tough life.  And "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" was funny as shit too.

Headed down to set up for women's lacrosse - pretty easy little setup - speakers, amp, scoreboard.  Standard.  We've got practice so I got my man Milos breaking it down.  Hopefully the rain holds off so the electronics don't get zapped.

PPD; PPV

PPD
After driving there, spending $35 to park, $17 on two hot dogs and a bottle of water, and $9.50 on the best garlic fries you'll ever eat, the game was declared a rainout and was postponed.  Me and Linds made the best of it, scarfing down our garlic fries before we decided to leave.

Here's a picture of me outside the Stadium, prior to the rainout:
Here's a picture of the Garlic Fries line, which took 20 minutes to get to the front of, but we were not going to be denied:

There were people lingering around that were hammered drunk, stuffing their faces, and just chanting random shit while they walked around the Stadium.  Profits tonight were probably pretty good given the circumstances.  Gates opened at 5 pm and are still open as I sit here on my couch and blog.  God bless the U.S. of A.

PPV
Oh why not throw in some more priceless porn titles, thanks to our friends in the adult entertainment industry, brought to us by TVGuide.com.  
All Girl Naughty Playdates: Exposed - I've got a feeling these aren't the type for toddlers
Big Boob Easter Parade: Naked & Naughty - Not the Peter Cottontail variety Easter Day Parade, I'm sure
European Teens: Nude & Spread Eagle - Sounds American-ized to me, or maybe the eagle is not used in the proper context
Frisky Business - Tom Cruise is not in this one, but I'm sure there's plenty of underwear

PPV; Homeless Brigade; Bullpen Woes; Baby D (Poll)

PPV
Personally, I can't get enough of these titles.  I am liking this segment more and more, and I have even found myself laughing at my comments on said titles.  Here's a few more to tide you over:
Best of Catfights Unleashed Vol. 1 - I doubt this is the female version of Mike Vick's former vice
Naked & Funny: Dangerous Curves - Naked, funny and curvy?  I wonder what's so funny here.
Naughty Girls of the Czech Republic - Must be some wild country over there with some bad girls.

Homeless Brigade
There are a myriad of homeless regulars here near the school and each one has a distinct call.  The following is a brief description of each and how they go about their business.

- "Twisty Hair Lady" - Never seen without a cigarette in her mouth, she shouts at you hoping for you to roll over and give her some money.  She sits at the  base of the steps up to the 1 Train - most of the people going up there have MetroCards, not change.  Needless to say, I don't think she does too well for herself.

- "Rock 'n Smoke" - This guy has been seen digging through the bushes in search of cigarette butts.  Yeah, it's gross, but he is homeless.  He stands outside Dorney's and rocks back and forth all day with a butt in his mouth and one in his hand.  He's really passive as far as asking for money goes - he doesn't do it.  He once startled me and muttered something about the coffee I was drinking.  Oh well.

- "Kenny" - Yes, we've developed a relationship over the years - he's been around since I was a student here.  "Can ya spurr some change murr!?" is his go-go line.  Only problem is, he forgets everything.  I walked in to the store with no change and walked out with no change, but you asked me both times - one time I yelled at him and actually asked him for change.

- "The Claw" - This dude's left hand is so deformed, probably from a machine accident, that it's basically a three-pronged claw.  Pretty grotesque shit, but he makes it work.  He's often seen brown-bagging a 40 oz. but never, ever smokes.  He's got good hygiene and he dresses relatively well, and never asks for anything.  He must be independently wealthy and choose to live on the mean streets of Riverdale.

Bullpen Woes
The Yankees became officially unwatchable last night, blowing an awesome start by CC.  Take a guess at what started it (besides the bullpen).  Walks.  Rafael Soriano, the most expensive setup man in baseball, walked three guys and allowed a hit and only got two outs in the 8th before being lifted for David Robertson, who promptly allowed a bases-clearing double to tie the game.  All the walks scored.  And the Yankees went on to lose in 10 innings, 5-4. 

Soriano is the setup man, so a 4-0 game was not the right spot to bring him in.  Let Robertson or Logan or one of the other relievers start with a clean slate.  There was no save situation for Mariano Rivera, so why use the setup man?  He doesn't need to throw every day.

Skipper Joe Girardi is the one to blame for last night's embarrassing loss, plain and simple.  Over-managing the game is what usually hurts him, and last night was no exception.  Let's hope they bounce back tonight.

I am still waiting to hear from a friend of mine, Matt Tolbert, to see if he is able to leave me a ticket to the game.  I played ball with him when we were Bourne Braves in the Cape Cod Baseball League.  Awesome guy, hard worker, and I am glad to see he is back with the Twins.

Baby D (Poll)
Baby D is finally making some progress.  He/she measured normally for the first time in a while - it's generally a little on the smaller side, but it looks like everything is normal.

April 14 is the due date.  I am going with the 13th myself and I know there are several others with different days circled.

According to the poll I put up several weeks ago, 68% of you (22 votes) think we're having a baby boy while 32% (10 votes) think it's a little girl.  We'll have to wait and see as me and Lindsay are waiting til the day to find out.  I am going to post a new poll by date, so we'll see if my readers are prophets.

Good day to you!
My Ping in TotalPing.com