Stupidity Abounds; Clemson's Chapel Hill O'fer; Roll Tide

I was just down on Broadway getting a bite to eat following another stellar pre-work workout and I stopped in Dunkin' Donuts to get myself a large iced coffee with milk and a little sugar.  (they put too much sugar in today)

So I order my coffee and as I'm waiting - it only took 30 seconds mind you - a guy comes steps right in front of me and in the process steps right on my foot.  I still am not quite sure what the rush was seeing how the one guy working was the guy making my coffee.  Anyhow, he looked blankly at me after he stepped on my foot.  No "I'm sorry" or "My bad" - none of that;  so I responded with "Don't sweat it man, I got another foot."

His blank stare turned to utter confusion.  I got my coffee as we was placing his order - 2 munchkins.  Two.  I didn't even know they sold them individually.

This guy was not homeless nor was he struggling for cash - he had a Gucci wallet (even though it was probably a fake) and was wearing a brand new pair of Nike sneaks.  Maybe he just has the appetite of a baby bird.  Or maybe he'd rather spend money looking good that trying to survive.  Come to think of it, he was about 6' and weighed maybe 160 pounds.  It felt like I stubbed my toe when he stepped on me.

Two munchkins.  Hah!

In college basketball news, North Carolina improved to 55-0 all-time at home against Clemson.  Granted, UNC traditionally has been a basketball powerhouse, but at some point over the past several seasons, when they've been a middle-of-the-pack ACC team, Clemson should have found a way to beat them.  It was tied at 63 before the Heels closed the game with a 12-2 run.  I guess the sun doesn't shine on a dog's ass every once in a while, not for Clemson anyway, and certainly not in Chapel Hill.

Another game I watched was #12 Kentucky taking on Alabama in Tuscaloosa.  Alabama tried like hell to give this one away, but they held on thanks to seldom used guard Ben Eblen.  With the Tide up 1 with 2.3 seconds left, Eblen tallied his lone point (he averages 1.0 PPG) on his first free throw before missing the second one, allowing the Wildcats one last chance.  Alabama led by as many as 17 in the second half but Kentucky kept chipping away.  In the end, Alabama prevailed, 68-66.  No court storming.  They've done it before, just not since the 2006 season - when they beat #20 Kentucky 72-61.  Roll Tide.  For this night anyway.

Time for a conference call.  Be back.  Enjoy your munchkins.

Post Movie Clapping - Yes or No?; Congrats to the JETS

Just got back to the apartment after a nice little date night with the wifester.  I worked the clinic all day and we haven't really had a date night in a while, so I figured we'd catch a flick and grab some dessert somewhere.

We headed up to Central Avenue to take in The Dilemma - Vince Vaughn (the best actor ever) and Kevin James killed it.  I'm biased, because I am convinced that anything Vince Vaughn does is instant gold (and I probably have a man-crush on him).

p.s. - I just Google'd how to properly write a movie title.  turns out, you simply italicize it. 

It was a 7:15 showing, so it really started at around 7:30 once the ridiculous previews were complete.

The movie was great - lots of laughs, some soft and mushy parts, more laughs, and more laughs.

There is one thing I don't understand at the conclusion of a movie - clapping.

Let me put it to you like this - the people on that screen, they can't actually hear your clapping.  Sure, I enjoyed the work they put forth in making it all come together on the big screen, but they don't give a shit if you boo and throw Gobstoppers at the screen.  They can't hear you.  The producer - he/she can't see, hear, or feel you reaction either.  Honestly, do you think other moviegoers think your clapping means you appreciated the film more than them?  No.

After you finish with a DVD at home, do you get your ass up from off that couch and clap?  If you do, take a good hard look in the mirror and re-evaluate your actions.  It's one thing to turn to a complete stranger and say, "Man, that was awesome" but clapping? 

My verdict on post-movie clapping is simple:  it's totally unnecessary.

Also, as per my rant against Twitter several months ago (October 22 I believe) - I take it back.  I am back on Twitter and have a new found appreciation for that little blue bird.

Follow me @ryaninthebronx

Oh, and Braylon Edwards' athleticism is second to none after his backflip celebration following the Jets shocking win in New England.  Also congratulations to my friend on Twitter @BigAds41 - a teammate and friend of mine since our college days at Manhattan - a huge Jets fan.

Also, congrats to Bruce and sorry to G - a bet's a bet so keep me posted as to how the score was settled.  I kind of feel like the bookie to this bet.

Goodnight and safe travels!

If you honk as soon as the light turns green, DO NOT READ THIS

Just a quick line giving the Big Bird to you impatient jack-wagons who find the need to honk as soon as the light turns green.  I'm as impatient as the next guy, but give it a rest.

Does this bother you as much as it bothers me?

I'm posting this a little later than anticipated, but it's something I'd like to discuss.  Being that it is my blog, and this forum allows me to express my opinions.

Under Armour.  UA locates their interlocking "UA" logo dead center below the neck line on a lot of their merchandise.  This is a clever marketing ploy - if you see that logo, you immediately think Under Armour.  I have no problem seeing athletes wearing 24 different UA products at once (it's a little excessive, but whatever).  I have no problem with you lounging out at home with an UA hoodie and sweatpants on.  I have no problem wearing said hoodie out to the mall.

The thing that really makes me scratch my head is when I see a 40-something sporting the shirt - UNDERNEATH a button-down shirt, exposing the logo.  While I'm at it, it pisses me off even more when I see people strolling around - in public - wearing tight-fitting UA shirts.  Those shirts are meant for athletic purposes - not for you to walk around with your nipples ready to pierce the shirt.  To the gym, sure, feel free.  To take a leisurely stroll in the neighborhood, why not.  But not to walk around the mall.  You're embarrassing yourself and whoever happens to be with you.  So please, have some self-respect, and stop.  I don't care how good you think you look - you're wrong.

Merging.  Why is this so difficult?  I am convinced, and have been for some time now, that all traffic is directly related to merging.  All of it.

In New York, we're blessed with merges at every turn - four lanes into two, two lanes into one, road crews weening off the road with cones, blinking arrows on the back of a DOT truck driving backwards, two exit ramps merging into one exit ramp merging onto a highway.  You name it, we got it.  And what is the direct result of all this merging?  You guessed it - traffic.

In Connecticut - a state Lindsay and I used to frequent quite regularly - I-84 has it's own version of the merge - the "Slow Vehicle Lane".  This lane is designated with a dashed double white line and lasts for no longer than a quarter mile at a stretch.  Trucks work their way over and then :25 seconds later, they're coming back into civilized traffic, forcing cars cruising in the center lane to brake in order to avoid an accident.  Senior citizens are often seen using this SVL and continuing on the shoulder because they forgot what they're doing.  It's not a smart idea and it creates unnecessary braking and ultimately, traffic.

Press 1.  For English?  Are you kidding me with this one?  Any phone call made within the vast confines of the USA should automatically proceed in English.  With all the tree branches you need to climb in order to actually speak with a real person, the least they can do is eliminate the need to press 1 for English.  The constitution is written in English, not Spanish or Chinese (nothing wrong with those two languages, I'm just saying).  I wind up pressing 1 and then hitting 0 twenty times in hopes that it'll forward my call to a human being and not the robot that can't understand what I'm saying.  Sometimes it works, sometimes I just grit my teeth and keep pressing numbers.

It's shit like this that bothers me.  I know people will say, "Ryan, don't let things you can't control bother you", you know what I say, that's your prerogative.  Live and let live America.  And learn to merge for God's sake.

Really?!?

  Today I hopped in the elevator in my building to head down to the lobby.  At the 2nd Floor, the electric box stopped, and in walked an older woman ready to go to the gym.  "Good for her", I thought, as she began doing standing butt kicks in the elevator in an attempt to get loose.

  She then proceeded to hit B - basement.  You're heading to the gym (located in the basement level of the building) and can't walk down the two flights of stairs to get loose?  Give me a break lady.  You stopped me on Floor 2 to take the elevator two floors?

  She seems motivated.  She probably hops on a treadmill and walks for 10 minutes and calls it a day.

  Next time, and this can be said to everyone, instead of taking the elevator two floors, walk down the stairs and treat that as your warm-up. 

  Sloth.

  Game day at The Dutch.  See you out there.  Enjoy your Sunday.  (Battle of the Bay with the Raiders and 49ers today).

Can you hear me now?!?

  Just wanted to sound off on a local epidemic here in the Bronx - speakerphones.  Now, I understand there are times when you need the speakerphone, but 98 times out of 100, you don't.

  The epidemic I am speaking about involved people walking on the sidewalks, holding their phones to their mouth, and letting everyone around them know about their conversation. 

  Here's my problem with it.  I don't give a rat's ass about how cool you think you are, how important you think your conversation is, or how much of a gangster you think this technique makes you look like - you're NOT cool.  You're still holding the phone up to your head to speak.  Does it cause you that much of an inconvenience to hold it 4" higher to your ear so that the rest of the walking population cannot hear your conversation?

  Maybe if you were at work or home and doing something else with your hands, then the speakerphone feature is worth using.  But walking down the street does not, in any circumstance, call for you to use speakerphone.  Because guess what, no one else gives a shit about what you or your cronies have to say!

  Put the phone up to your ear.  I have yet to see someone not stop and either roll their eyes or shake their head when they pass someone guilty of using improper speakerphone.  Number one, it doesn't make you cool.  Number two, it makes you look like a vain, self-involved douche.

  Get a blue tooth.  Or better yet, just use the damn phone the way it's supposed to be used - on your ear!

Bad to Loud to Good

Just got back from a long two days of recruiting and have another day-long event tomorrow to go to.  The first thing I did when I walked in the door was head straight to the fridge.  Not because I'm a fat-ass, but because I was a little parched and I was thirsty. 

I'll preface:

I was sitting in traffic for 35 minutes to go one mile. (admittedly pretty damn frustrating.)  For anyone that knows me, you know how irate I can get when I sit in traffic.  So I calmly began shuffling for CD's to pop in - This is Hell's "Weight of the World" is on heavy rotation.  I proceeded to roll down all my windows, and blasted the record.  I had people looking at me like I was driving a hot pink, hot dog shaped car.  (I drive a 1998 Mercury Mountaineer).

From then on I was shouting, spitting sunflower seeds out the window, and trying to prevent people from using the shoulder as a self-imposed third lane (I've touch on this before regarding people who ride Yamaha/Suzuki crotch-rockets).  I got honked at several times for providing a slow-moving road block, but I just shrugged.  I wasn't the one being impatient (for a change).

Then I got to the problem - four open CASH lanes.  Not sure how many there normally are, but I'm gonna go with eight.  The E-ZPass lanes are side-by-side in the middle.  Well played NJDOT, well played.

I got through it and turned the music louder as I headed for home.

I digress.

I got home and went to the fridge.  Took out the gallon of milk and the chocolate syrup.  Found the biggest glass I could find and mixed myself up an ice cold glass of chocolate milk.

Here's my recipe for chocolate milk:
1.  Pour in 2" of milk
2. Pour in chocolate syrup for 4 seconds
3. Stir it up
4. Top off the glass with milk
5. Re-stir
6. ENJOY!

So good I'm going back for another.  Hooray for chocolate milk!  (and loud music)

Rants, Raves, Ridicule, and Riots

Rant:  Hello Summer!!  Although it's been hotter than hell for the past several days, today is officially the first day of summer.  Summer Solstice.  Longest day of the year.  Hottest day in recent memory.  Take your pick, but I for one am a fan that technically, summer is finally here.  The forecast looks decent for the foreseeable future - mid-80's every day for at least the next 10.  The hottest day ever in NY State was way back in July of 1926, when it reached 108 on the mercury up in Troy.  It isn't quite that hot here, but it's getting there.  Part of me questions if that is really the hottest it's ever been in NY.  108 degrees?  Maybe, it does seem pretty hot.

Anyway, welcome summer, glad you're finally on board.

Rave:  This rave has nothing to do with sports.  In fact, it has everything to do with Facebook.  People are constantly writing status updates and comments (for which I am guilty) but there seems to be one glaring issue I cannot tolerate - abbreviations.

You just wrote three sentences as a status update, but you refuse to spell out "to" and instead use "2".  2day, 2morrow, happy birthday 2 you.  It's two freaking letters.  Spell it out.  I can deal with the OMG and WTF abbreviations, but how lazy are those who shorten words.  Just spell it out, you can do it.  And the people who leave out vowels on words - come on.  I know there is shorthand, but there is also laziness.  On a CD like the Deftones new Diamond Eyes, there's a song "CMND/CTRL" - I'm good with that, because they rule.  Facebook users, you do not rule.  Spell out the words.

Ridicule:  Alejandro Falla (sounds like "fire") BLEW IT!!  You had a chance to knock the #1 seed out of Wimbledon, and you choked.  Up two sets to none, Roger Federer rallied for a 5-set victory.  I guess for a guy who's never really had much success in tennis tournaments, this is to be expected.  You need to know how to win in order to win a big match.

If a team is constantly losing (like the Pirates), when a tight situation comes about late in a game, chances are they'll find a way to blow it.  Not because they are a bad team, but because they aren't used to closing out that type of game or performing in that type of situation.  Falla has only advanced past the second round once this season (Australian Open).  Maybe it'll be good for the 65th ranked player in the world.  Something to draw upon in the future, when he's up two sets to none again.

Riot:  Good for the French.  I find it hilarious that they blame the coach for their pathetic play.  Coming in to the World Cup, they are the 9th ranked team in the FIFA/Coca-Cola World Rankings.  They are in 3rd place in Group A, 3 points behind Uruguay (16th) and Mexico (17th).  They are tied with host South Africa (83rd) with 1 point.  The two teams will play tomorrow.  The French are looking for their first goal of the 2010 World Cup as well.  Pretty pathetic.  That's like saying the Yankees blaming manager Joe Girardi for their failures - all he does is put the best possible lineup on the field to give his team the best chance of winning.

These French need to take a good, hard look in the mirror and realize they are playing for the price of their country.  Stop bitching and blaming the coach and take accountability for your own actions.  Toughen up sissies.

Time for a toss.  Peace and grease.

Iron Crap-tus

Headed over to the Iron Cactus for dinner.  Third floor seating, outside, nice views.  Fixing to be a good dinner.  Food was good, service sucked.

Maybe it was his first night.  I highly doubt it.  Either way, he was brutal.

AB 1:  Sat down for over 10 minutes before he came over to the table.  No silverware, no napkins, no menu, no drink menu.  "Can I get you a drink?"  I peered over to the bar, 45' away.  Lucky for him, I got pretty good eyes.  Lindsay got a water, I got a Negra Modelo and a Diet Pepsi.  Order taken, waiter gone to get it.  (Lindsay went to get a drink menu at the bar)  Comes back with a water and "What did you want to drink again?"  Told him the order plus a Bud Light Lime for the lady and five minutes later the drinks came.  0-1

AB 2:  Drinks were there, chips and salsa came out, still no menus.  Eventually (5 or 6 minutes) the doofus brought us out some menus.  Took a peek at it, and within the blink of an eye he was there to take an order.  We got the Gulf Coast Crab Cakes - probably not the best choice given the whole BP situation.  He left.  0-1 with a BB

AB 3:  Came back to us after a few minutes, and we told him our meal orders (Yucatan Fish Tacos for me, Spinach Artichoke and Grilled Portobello Enchiladas for Linds), assuming that's why he was back.  It wasn't.  He wanted to see if the chips and salsa were OK.  The drinks were empty, but he wasn't all that concerned with this.  Had he knows that I've been sucking them back pretty quickly lately, he woulda brought me out a bucket.  We had to tell him we wanted another round, even though it was blatently evident based on the two empty bottles on the table.  0-2, BB

AB 4:  He came back and asked us our orders again, after not having written them down to begin with.  Then he brought out the appetizer.  The jícama slaw was pretty damn good though (even though it was spelled "jicima" on the menu).  0-3, BB

AB 5:  Again with the drinks.  Saw empties, didn't collect them.  I thought we were able to turn them in for a cash refund applied directly to the principal of our bill.  This wasn't the case.  Food came out, it was good, a little too close to the appetizer, but at least it came out.  Then he asked if we wanted another drink after staring at our empties on the table.  Duh!  0-4, BB

AB 6:  He got benched.  We got the check and left him a 14% tip because he sucked.  He wished us a great evening, and we were out.  Man I hope that guy gets fired, he sucked.  But given what the manager looked like, his job is safe.  It was like the town of Dorkville up there. 

Post Game:  Back at the hotel, meeting an old colleague at Draft for a quick drink.

In MLB news, the Cardinals are taking it to the M's.  Seattle put up 2 in the top of the first, but St. Louis answered with three of their own, and added six more en route to a 9-3 win.  Luke French and Ian Snell both pitched like crap.  Adam Wainright settled in after a rocky start, and the Cardinals are now 1 game back of the Reds in the NL Central.  For once, it isn't a one-team race in that division.

Draft time.

10 and 2

People who walk/jog/run with their feet at 10 and 2 really irk me.  Not quite sure why, but chances are, these are people who have never played a sport - and if they did, chances are they weren't very good at it.

Walk with your toes forward.  It's really not that difficult, and it prevents you from looking like a duck when you walk.  Try it out.

Quack, Quack!!

Strasburg has landed (and DirecTV blows)

Today's the day. 

Stephen Strasburg makes his ML debut tonight - and the fans in Washington D.C. have taken notice.  It's a sellout with only SRO tickets available at the box office tonight.  I hope the Nats' are able to perform in front of all those fans.  Average attendance this year at a Nationals home game is just under 21,600 a game.  Tonight, Nationals Park will be packed to the gills, with over 41,546 expected to have a seat and who knows how many more standing.

Every time he starts at home, it should be close to a sellout.  I hope it goes well.  I plan on watching this young man dominate the Pirates tonight.  I hope it's on TV here in the NYC area - MLB Network should have it on, but who knows.  First and last time a Nats/Bucs game will be nationally televised. 

My DirecTV was all sorts of screwed up this morning - it was 70 and sunny out but for some reason my satellite had no service.  I paid my bill early.  There is no growth around the dish.  The wiring is sound.  I called this morning and was put on hold and after 30 minutes listening to the worst elevator music imaginable, I hung up, after a profanity-laced tirade at the music - made me feel better.  DirecTV, your technical support service blows!  Maybe it wasn't just my satellite, maybe it took so damn long because everyone was fired up about theirs not working.  Let's hope it's ready to go at lunch, otherwise I'm unleashing fury on whoever answers the call.  They'll probably tell me they can't access the dish because my landlord refuses to do any work on the yard and it looks like a freaking jungle.  I think I actually saw a leopard scampering through the side lot.  Hey, dick, clean up this dump of a yard!

Douche O' the Day

Winner is..........Bryce Harper.  After a backwards K, he drew a line in the batter's box showing the umpire where he thought the pitch was.  Chances are, his college playing days are over - he's suspended for two games because it was his second ejection of the year. 

Bryce, there's all sorts of statements going around that you're selfish, you're a prick, but I won't judge the type of person you are based on what others say.  I think you're a douche bag because of your Lattimer-inspired eye-black.  Have a look for yourself - good thing you're still only 17, because you'd get banged out for some bucks in Kangaroo Kourt for that one.  But you'll probably be the guy in the clubhouse flashing his signing bonus, because all the nay-sayers are probably right.  Douche!!

Click click click click click

Slow computers make me want to punch a hole in the screen.  Maybe it's just the ancient ones we have in the offices here at work.  I am the only worker in here without a school-issued computer.  I wander around office to office trying to find one that's free and quite frankly it behooves me. (always wanted to say/write that word)

I am physically working between two different computers right now, and the A/C doesn't work, to boot.  One computer can't open the file I need but the other can.  Problem is, the one that can, is slower than shit.  I mean it's gotta be a 45 second delay from mouse-click to open.  And if you know me, you know how patient I am (sarcasm is at an all-time high). 

Let me go check on the dinosaur computer - it seems to have gotten a second wind, I better strike while it's still working. 

In short, I dislike immensely slow-running computers.  There's nothing else loading except my e-mail, what the hell is taking so long?

There always seems to be...

...like $0.20 left on my MetroCard and I can't use it again.  I mean how hard is it to keep these things like they were in the past - this 15% and 20% bonus bull is garbage.  People just throw out the $0.05 on their card and the city is making money - it's ridiculous.  I mean how freakin' hard is it to make the denominations on the card even - like, say, a $10 card gives you $1.25 bonus, so that you have 5 WHOLE rides instead of this.  There's a 15% bonus when you refill $8 or more on your card.  I don't want the 15% because if I have $0.45 left on my card, here's what I'd need to add to have an even amount of rides:

$11.35 for 6 rides ($1.70 bonus) -- $13.30 for 7 rides ($2.00 bonus) -- $27.00 for 14 rides ($4.05 bonus)

If I had $0.20 on my card and wanted to add $20.00, I'd have a card worth $22.51 - $0.01 cent, really?!?

Not sure about you, but I'm not exactly walking around with $11.35 cents in my pocket.  I am assuming at the vending machine post you can add that obscure amount, but who the hell is walking around with a 15% bonus calculator for their MetroCard?

Just keep the bonuses so that it's actually a bonus ride - I don't want an extra $0.05 on my card.  But I'll keep the card and keep pumping money into it, because NYC ain't gonna take me for any more money.

I'd love to swing my door open...

...and knock one of those twits on their crotch-rocket Yamaha or Suzuki clean off their bike when they drive directly on the yellow-dotted line in traffic or on an exit ramp.  They think they're being cool and smart by sneaking past cars stuck in traffic. 

Do me all a favor, go race one of your buddies and when you're coming up behind me, I'll sacrifice my driver's side door to knock you on your ass.  Stay in a lane.